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Vulnerable with God

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God wants you to be real with him”  That is a word I got from someone several years ago after a very difficult period of time. For someone who liked to fade into the background and pretend that everything was okay when it really wasn’t, this was a bit difficult to swallow. I was used to the idea that God wanted my obedience but I didn’t think that he really wanted to be close to me.  In the garden, God walked with Adam and Eve. He talked with them and they knew him on an intimate level. They were naked and felt no shame. After the fall, man began building walls around their hearts by using their own efforts to attempt to reach God.  What did God do? He built bridges to reach the heart of man, namely through the person of Jesus who came to show the world that God still longed for that same intimacy that He had in the garden and to bridge that chasm between God and man which seemed insurpassible.  In some ways, we still try to build Towers of Babel to God, thinking that
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Scavenger Hunts and Surprises

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One of my favorite memories happened when I was six and my mom sent me on a scavenger hunt through town. She gave me the first clue at home and then proceeded to take me around town with clue after clue! One clue led me to an apple in a neighbors mailbox. We went to the post office, library and Books-a-million and probably a couple other places that have escaped my memory!  We found a couple of carrots at another friends house. Eventually we got in the car with the final clue and my mom was trying to get me to guess our destination. I think I had figured out by that point that where we were going had something to do with horses, but I remember trying to guess what that was. The zoo, a horse race, I can only imagine what my six year old brain came up with. That treasure hunt led to my first riding lesson and ever since, horses have been a healing part of my life, which even became a part of my work!  The thing that means the most to me about that memory is all of the time and love th
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Hold On God, I'll Be Back In Five!

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My approach towards God sometimes is like, "Hey God, okay you wait here while I go do this." Like if I'm going to work, a part of me seems to say, alright bye God, I'll see you when I get back. Sometimes it's even, okay I'll see you again at about 10:00 when I have my quiet time. It's no wonder that time keeps getting pushed later and later...I think that it is hard for us to get used to the with, doing everything with him. The disciples didn't even understand this idea when Jesus said he was leaving. John 16:6-7 Rather, you are filled with grief because I have said these things. But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. We have to KNOW that he is with us by faith. The reason it's hard for us is because no person can be with us 24/7 and the person (Holy Spirit) that is with us happens to be someone we cannot see with our eyes. W
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Dreams about Flat Tires and Walmart

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Last night I had a very vivid dream, one of those that's impossible to get out of your head. It seemed strange at first, but I asked God to show me what it meant and what He showed me was too convicting not to share. In my dream, I was riding out from my childhood house in Florence, down the sidewalks beside a fairly busy road. I started out going really well, it was a beautiful day and I did not have any plans for where I was going. All of a sudden, it started to get really hard for me to keep on pedaling. I began to get quite frustrated and eventually looked down and thought I might have a flat tire. I tried to ignore it at first, but eventually it got so difficult that I had to get off and start walking. I did not want to walk home and I knew that I was close to a Walmart so I decided to go in to see if I could find another tire for my bike. It was really crowded though, there were tons of people and nothing but books and some movies and music. (I even saw some cute guys, but
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What's next?

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"...without vision the people perish." I definitely felt as though I was going to perish after returning to America and realizing that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing with my life! I bet Abraham felt that way when God told him to go, but didn't tell him exactly where.  I strongly dislike making decisions, especially important ones that have a significant effect on how I will live my life in the coming months and years. But more than that, I just struggle with transitions. However, what I have realized lately is that in order to get something you have to give something up. Someone I heard recently said that you have to give up the small to get the big. The problem is that the small doesn't feel so small when you are getting rid of the only thing in your hand. Wouldn't it be better to keep what you have than risk losing that?  It's all about trust. Trusting that God knows what He is doing and that He will get you where you are supposed to go. I had
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Buddies

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To Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever

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My time in Walvis Bay has been a time full of self reflection and alone time with God. It is much harder to build relationships with those that I work with here but there are still many opportunities to show Gods love to people.  Relationships at JP Brand were much easier because the children were so desperate for love and affection and returned it back to us abundantly. However, my time in Walvis has shown me that even those that are difficult to love, like the kids at the orphanage and even my own teammates at times, are just as special in Gods eyes.  This trip has been different from my expectations because I think that I selfishly wanted to have God do great things through me. I wanted to see lots of results and feel better about myself because I was making an impact. However, I am beginning to realize that God has mostly just used me to plant seeds throughout this trip.  We had the amazing chance to go back to the desert this week for a cultural exchange. The chief of the Topnaar
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