Revealing the Father's Heart

My approach towards God sometimes is like, "Hey God, okay you wait here while I go do this." Like if I'm going to work, a part of me seems to say, alright bye God, I'll see you when I get back. Sometimes it's even, okay I'll see you again at about 10:00 when I have my quiet time. It's no wonder that time keeps getting pushed later and later...I think that it is hard for us to get used to the with, doing everything with him. The disciples didn't even understand this idea when Jesus said he was leaving. John 16:6-7 Rather, you are filled with grief because I have said these things. But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. We have to KNOW that he is with us by faith. The reason it's hard for us is because no person can be with us 24/7 and the person (Holy Spirit) that is with us happens to be someone we cannot see with our eyes. W...

Last night I had a very vivid dream, one of those that's impossible to get out of your head. It seemed strange at first, but I asked God to show me what it meant and what He showed me was too convicting not to share. In my dream, I was riding out from my childhood house in Florence, down the sidewalks beside a fairly busy road. I started out going really well, it was a beautiful day and I did not have any plans for where I was going. All of a sudden, it started to get really hard for me to keep on pedaling. I began to get quite frustrated and eventually looked down and thought I might have a flat tire. I tried to ignore it at first, but eventually it got so difficult that I had to get off and start walking. I did not want to walk home and I knew that I was close to a Walmart so I decided to go in to see if I could find another tire for my bike. It was really crowded though, there were tons of people and nothing but books and some movies and music. (I even saw some cute guys, but ...

"...without vision the people perish." I definitely felt as though I was going to perish after returning to America and realizing that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing with my life! I bet Abraham felt that way when God told him to go, but didn't tell him exactly where.  I strongly dislike making decisions, especially important ones that have a significant effect on how I will live my life in the coming months and years. But more than that, I just struggle with transitions. However, what I have realized lately is that in order to get something you have to give something up. Someone I heard recently said that you have to give up the small to get the big. The problem is that the small doesn't feel so small when you are getting rid of the only thing in your hand. Wouldn't it be better to keep what you have than risk losing that?  It's all about trust. Trusting that God knows what He is doing and that He will get you where you are supposed to go. I had...

My time in Walvis Bay has been a time full of self reflection and alone time with God. It is much harder to build relationships with those that I work with here but there are still many opportunities to show Gods love to people.  Relationships at JP Brand were much easier because the children were so desperate for love and affection and returned it back to us abundantly. However, my time in Walvis has shown me that even those that are difficult to love, like the kids at the orphanage and even my own teammates at times, are just as special in Gods eyes.  This trip has been different from my expectations because I think that I selfishly wanted to have God do great things through me. I wanted to see lots of results and feel better about myself because I was making an impact. However, I am beginning to realize that God has mostly just used me to plant seeds throughout this trip.  We had the amazing chance to go back to the desert this week for a cultural exchange. The chief o...

This week was another incredible one in the desert. The relationships that I have been building with the girls there are strengthening and they have been able to open up to me about their stories. In our Bible Study on Wednesday they asked me questions that challenged me to get into my Bible and to know the references for the things that I believe. "Is hell real?, is Satan real and what does he do?, and how is God three in one but still one?" These were just a few of the questions that they threw at me in a few short minutes. Not being able to use my phone or the internet has given me more time and desire to read my bible in my free time (especially if I am going to attempt to answer all of these questions!) and I hope to continue this when I get back to the US.  It is really hard for me to go into my last week realizing that I will have to say goodbye, probably for forever, to the girls that I have come to love on Friday. However, even though it is hard to know that the othe...

I wrote this as I was on the plane to London...we have had an amazing layover here and everyone is ready to get some much needed rest! Well we are about halfway through with what will be an over two day long journey to Namibia. It's still totally unreal and I don't know if it will fully hit me until my feet are on the ground! I have really enjoyed getting to know my team over the past few days! We really are an incredible mixture of personalities who somehow fit really well together. One of the things that really stuck with me the most from the four days of training that we had was that missions is not so much about what WE are going out and doing for others but rather it is more about meeting people where THEY are at and building relationships with them.  This idea is modeled in the life of Jesus, who entered the world not as a King, on a level above the average person. Instead he came as a baby and lived a life that allowed Him to identify with ALL of the challenges and tempt...