Fear and Love: Arch Enemies or Friends?

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Psalm 33:18
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. 

Fear and love have always been thought of as complete opposites, but in a way they also go together. 

1 John 4:18 says there is no fear in love, but that perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The word that is used here for fear is phobos, which comes from the word to flee or withdraw, especially when one feels inadequate. So then, how are we supposed to both love and fear God at the same time? 

A simple definition of love is that it draws us to someone or something, while fear causes us to withdraw. It is  most healthy to have a balance of these two qualities in our lives when it comes to our relationship with God because love causes us to be close to Him, while fear causes us to reverence Him and realize how holy and great He truly is. 

Someone put it well when they used the example of two fathers. One father spoils his children to the point that they are able to walk all over him. They end up trying to use the father for their own selfish purposes. The second father loves his children the same amount but also has a sense of authority, which lets the children know that they are not the ones in control. I believe that the second describes the way that we ought to view God. 

The problem with many people is that they have more fear for God than they do love for Him. In the Old Testament, the people were under the law and were taught that God was a righteous God who must have judgment. While this is true, the love of God was greater and when God sent his son Jesus to die for our sins, his love for us became the fulfillment of the law. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says that the greatest of these is love. While fearing God is good, love for God is better. Many people believe that they have been saved by grace but then go on to believe that they must work to gain approval from God.

In order to love God we must realize that we are loved by God. The miracle of God's love is that we are only able to love God with the love that He has given us. 

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